lizartist's Cancer Blog
December 6, 2006
| Back from the geneticist | Views: 788 |
So, after weeks of tense waiting, my insurance has approved the test to find out if I’m BRCA positive. How great! I can’t believe I’m excited to have a test which will help me decide if I want to have my other breast and both ovaries removed.
Guess I am so desperate for some good news I’ll take even this.
Anyone had the test? And what did you decide to do with the information?
The geneticist had me take a test to see if I qualify to participate in a research study for a newly formed branch which looks into the effects of stress on the development of cancer. I took the test and it turns out I’m too depressed, and don’t qualify!
I didn’t even know I was depressed! I thought depressed was not having a single happy thought for weeks on end, but as it turns out thinking you’re a worthless failure with no hope for the future qualifies, too.
She said I ought to talk to someone. This is me,”Gee Doc, I don’t know why I’m so sad. I’ve just been diagnosed with breast cancer. What’s the big deal?” People are diagnosed with breast cancer every day.
09.13.08 - 
Thanks for your support -
I remember I went to do a follow visit about six months after my treatment and they had this big survey that asked a lot of questions about my mental state. You had to rank your answer by 1 to 10, i felt a lot better so most my answers were in the middle ground. But I laughed to myself thinking what my answers would of been had they given me this test six months earlier. I think they would of locked me up. What you are feeling is about the same as me, but you may want to talk to someone, it might help. I would of if my insurance had paid for it. Thanks for the update!
Hello Liz!
Depression is so normal in our cases. The ones that doesn’t get depress at the beginning does it at the end of treatment.
Living with breast cancer is not a death sentence if you look at things from some other points. For example, once you are born the only real thing you are sure to get is death; the rest is up to you and circumstances surrounding you. Someone healthy can die by surprise, like in a car crash, at any age.
Depression is really bad for all types of cancer. Try to think about the good things you have in life and enjoy them.
I have learned so much from this journey. Laugh every time you can. Start laughing about your self; that will make you feel stronger. Always look at the positive side of things; they always have one. Live one day at a time, and, NEVER, worry about tomorrow.
Blessings!
Ragis
Hi Liz,
In your last post you refered to yourself as “a worthless failure”.......when it’s more than obvious to me that you are anything but.
I’m going to share something with you that I never meant to bring up in this forum but it might help you to get your priorities straight.
I don’t know if this is appropriate here but here goes.
In 2000 my beautiful 36 year old daughter was killed in an automobile accident. As if that wasn’t senseless enough, the driver of the other car was drunk. She never got the time to say goodbye or to put her affairs in order. She was here one minute and gone the next. I didn’t get the chance to say one last goodbye or to tell her how much I loved her. She left three Sons and a multitude of family and friends who feel so cheated by the way she died and the suddeness of it. She lost a leg and part of one arm in the accident and had she lived she would have made the best of it, we all would have becuase that arm and leg didn’t define who she was.
IF I had been given a choice of how she would leave us, a choice between cancer and the other way I think I would have chosen cancer.
Chances are you won’t die of cancer, I pray you don’t and as Ragis said, you might go out tomorrow and get hit by a car, life is uncertain, and sometimes very unfair but for now cancer is the hand you’ve been dealt.
Take Ragis’s advice, she knows what she’s talking about…....we’re all here to help so vent whenever you feel the need.
Liz- I’m wondering how you are? Please post.